Racial Domination and Privilege Interest Group

By Jacqueline Hudak

I sit down to write this after reading the latest issues of the NY Times Sunday Magazine, entitled "Talking About Race," the cover of which features two young adolescent boys, one white, one African American, with each one's arm playfully around the other's shoulders. This is the culmination of a series of pieces in the Times about race, which I urge everyone to check out if you haven't already. While reading these pieces, I am reminded of the multicultural work that we are doing at AFTA. I recall, too, our shared sentiment, echoed by these authors, concerning both the lack of a "road map" for this journey, and the emotion such conversations can foster. I, too, struggle to find the words to describe what happened in the room that day, when we again attempted to engage in a conversation about diversity and race that our society has obscured and silenced.

This year's group was co-facilitated by Jacqueline Hudak and Sarah Stearns, who generously sat in for Theresa Messineo, who was unable to attend. We noted that this was our fourth year meeting as an interest group, and at the beginning of the conversation outlined the guidelines for participation that have been developed through the years; we highlighted the fact that one's statements were open to examination for racist content.

The Racial Domination and Privilege Interest Group is but one of several opportunities during the AFTA conference for members to participate in a daring conversation about difference, and building the bridges to connection. I felt a momentum grow from the pre conference meetings, to the womens' and mens' institutes, as well as The Diversity Forum. I was mindful of the importance of continuity between all of these conversations, and the emotional climate created by them among AFTA members. While there was some agenda suggested by the facilitators, the group was open to any processing that members wanted to do.

This year members were asked to bring personal stories about their experiences of racism or privilege. A woman of color spoke about the ways she faced racism in her work and her resolve to address it more overtly in those situations, rather than remaining silent. A feeling began to permeate the room about the enormity of the pain of racism. It was our challenge to hold our anger and sadness, and to tolerate it, which is not an easy task for those who live with it daily, or for those in the dominant group, much more used to living within their comfort zones. I was reminded again of the ease with which I move through my professional world, and the struggles I don't have because of my racial privilege.

Several white members talked about the consciousness of their privilege, and experiences of accessing and using this privilege in certain situations. A white woman's experience in utilizing her priviledge to access more expedient and extensive medical care for her child was juxtaposed with the experience of a man of color dismissed in his attempts to get medical attention for his wife. This man was publicly acknowledged by the group, who joined him in naming the injustice, and supported him in his grief.

We also spoke about what made it safe to have conversations between people who are "different," and acknowledged the barriers to relationship and connection between us. It was agreed that acknowledging one's racial privilege or being accountable for one's particular ethnic group was indeed helpful. This fostered the development of the conversation to the point where members could talk about their fear of each other. Members also shared messages they were given, at times by their own families, about people who were "other."

The conversation this year also addressed, in a very personal way, the issue of internalized racism. A man of color spoke about his own long-held belief that his people were not competent, and how the structure of racism supported this belief. Members shared stories about the inherent "whiteness" in their professional training, and the lack of mentors and teachers who are not part of the dominant group.

We also touched on the fluidity of one's relationship to status or oppression over time, as we began to incorportate the complexities of an individual's experience that include immigration, sexual orientation, and gender.

As I write this I am thinking, "Did we do all this in two hours?" AND "We have so much more to talk about!" I hope in these paragraphs I have respectfully represented my colleagues, and captured the essence of our conversation that day. It is indeed hard to describe. I did come away feeling, from all of the dialogues, in this interest group, the Womens' Institute, and the Diversity Forum, that we at AFTA have taken a step forward in the conversation about race.

I look forward to next year, to moving further ahead, and to widening the circle. Please join us.

Jacqueline Hudak is the Director of Family Therapy Associates of Monmouth County, in Red Bank, NJ, and is a faculty member of The Mutlicultural Family Institute of NJ, and The Institute for Family Services.