From the editor's Desk

By Volker Thomas

Don't worry, I shall not write about the Presidential elections. We all need a break from that, don't we? But what shall I write about? Hasn't this been the primary focus on people's minds for the past two months? Maybe it has not? Well, what am I supposed to write about in my column? Well, how about the end of the millennium. Mathematicians claim that 2000 was the last year of the 20^th century (not 1999). So the hype about the end of the millennium was one year premature. Perhaps, that's why the millennium bug did not bite? I hope you were prepared this time when the "real" transition from the 20^th to the 21^st millennium happened. Watch your computers for the Y2K bug (Y2K, what is that?).  Time goes by so fast. Last year around this time, many people worried about the world being torn apart by a computer glitch, this year it's only the presidency of the USA. This makes me wonder what it will be a year from now?

Anyway, as I reflect on the year that has just passed, I am reminded of the relativity of time. My oldest daughter Tina (who lives with her husband in Germany) just told me about her frustrating attempts to get pregnant. At 28 she and her husband decided to have their first baby assuming that conceiving is as "easy" as contraception. Then they realized how "hard" they have worked NOT to get pregnant for the last 5 years. Now they want to get pregnant and find out that this also takes "work", i.e., it's much more difficult to conceive than they thought. To them it feels like reality and fantasy of human propagation and intimacy are turned upside down. I sympathize with them finding myself getting anxious at the thought of becoming a grandfather, which turns part of my world upside down as well. For many years I have felt bad for my parents and my two younger children that my choice of immigrating to the US has kept them apart physically and culturally. I felt responsible creating as many opportunities as possible to see each other. I have missed seeing my "US children" grow up with their grandparents near by. I also found myself becoming defensive when my parents complained that my immigration alienated them from their grandchildren. They are in their 80s, too old to travel across the Atlantic. Which puts the entire travel burden on us, spending most of our vacation time in Germany.

Becoming a grandfather of a grandchild across the ocean will put me in the position of my parents (in relation to Tina) and Tina in my position (in relation to me). I wonder what my reactions will be living so far away from my first grandchild (when it will be conceived and born). As long as my parents live I can combine my visits to them with seeing my grandchild and his/her parents. So the travel burden will not solely be on my daughter and son-in-law. Yet I wonder, how I will be part of my unborn grandchild's life being so far away? How will I react to my daughter and son-in-law's needs? It's mind boggling, the transition into grandparenthood at close physical proximity is difficult enough. Yet adding the physical distance and the cultural differences into the equation makes it seem even more difficult. What a challenge! I look forward to meeting it! I am grateful that my training as a family therapist provides me with the insight and the knowledge to face these transitions with a level of awareness that make me more confident to go through life transitions. However, the training does not make it any easier, less intense, or less painful when the transitions are not as smooth as I would like them to be.

When I think about AFTA I can't help it but be reminded of my familial transitions. Our professional parents (charter members) are aging. Many of them can't travel any longer to see their professional children and grandchildren at the Annual (AFTA family) Meeting. I wonder what our responsibility is towards our professional parents and grandparents (i.e., elders)? How can we stay connected with them, appreciate them for their professional legacies, draw on their wisdom and experiences? There maybe (ideological) oceans between them and us, yet don't we have an obligation to honor their legacy (as I feel obliged to stay in touch with my parents across the Atlantic)? How do professional organizations such as AFTA work through life course transitions? I don't know the answers to these questions. As I explore the answers for my family I may get inspired to transcend possible answers to the transitional process in which AFTA has embarked. I invite you to join me in this process.

Let's reconsider the threat of Y2K as the possibility 2001. The answers do not lie in the numerical confusion of senseless machines but in our hearts and minds. The fear of Y2K seemed to close the hearts of many people. My hope for all of us is that the possibility of 2001 will reopen them and help us transcend the accomplishments of the past into a vital future.

I wish you PEACE and PASSION for the new Millennium.