(From the Tampa Tribune, September 16, 2001)

Healing by Connecting with Peace

Richard B. Weinberg, Ph.D.

Sitting with a group of kids who are scared, angry, and sad is not necessarily a place one would expect to find ideas that stick in one's consciousness and spark deeper reflection, but that is what happened to me this morning, a day after the terrorist attack. As a psychologist involved in crisis intervention, I've done my share of meeting with groups after a disaster and discussing the impact that a tragedy has had on their lives. Typically these groups involve a lot of emotional sharing, and addressing how to move beyond fear, anger, and grief to re-engage with life. Of most importance, involvement with others during trying times enables people to put their feelings into perspective, allowing a return to inner peace. But what about the peace around us? In keeping with John Lennon's quote that life is what happens when involved in something else, I found a gem of a concept this morning where I didn't expect to find one. I learned a lesson about creating peace within oneself through contributing to peace outside the self.

I was meeting with a bunch of 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. We were talking about their feelings the morning after the terrorist attacks. The children mentioned universal fears—that the US could go to war; that bombs might strike Tampa, that family members could be hurt or killed in another terrorist attack; they described what made them angry, in particular the recurring video clip of a small group of people who were rejoicing that the US was hit; and of course the children poignantly and sadly described their connection to people in New York and Washington who had lost loved ones.

Then one boy in the back of the room raised his hand. Quietly, he described the source of his fear. Earlier in the discussion we had talked about reprisals and the possibility that the US would retaliate against other countries. Given that scenario this young man was scared that the US would desire quick vengeance. He worried that we would bomb and kill children in other lands. He looked around at all of his classmates, implying that all the world's children are equally innocent, and that killing the children of our enemies would make the US just as bad as the terrorists. That was the prospect that frightened him.

To me the events of September 11th are only the most recent orbit in a circular dynamic that spirals back to ancient history. When someone is hit there is a natural impulse to hit back. And we always believe that we have the capability to hit harder than the other guy. Occasionally one does deliver a knockout blow that genuinely causes the hatred to wither. This infrequent conclusion, though, is typically followed by an outstretched hand and a genuine, sustained period of support and assistance that short-circuits the desire to fight back. Relations between Japan and the US following Hiroshima and Nagasaki are one example of this dynamic. The more typical reaction, though, whether it be on the street or the global battlefield, is that violence fosters more of the same, until all are damaged. This was the young man's legitimate concern—one that I believe we all need to ponder.

My hope is that the president will stand by his words on the night of Tuesday, September 11. We should find the people responsible for the attacks, and I emphasize, only those responsible, and those who harbored these people (and again, I emphasize, only those who harbored them), and bring all to justice. And I hope he means justice, American-style—meaning that innocence is assumed until guilt is proven beyond reasonable doubt, and that the punishment will be equitable.

All of us sustained psychic wounds from these terrorist attacks. We all need healing. Immediate psychological healing can certainly come when we engage with others and contribute something constructive-- like talking and crying together and offering mutual comfort; like giving blood; like praying for those who lost loved ones. However, true sustained healing comes only when our efforts serve to prevent a recurrence. This type of healing can only emerge when all of us contribute to building connections of peace instead of stoking the fires of continued animosity and hatred. The alternative will only serve to invite more events from which we need to heal.

Rick Weinberg is a Licensed Psychologist and Clinical Associate Professor at the Louis de la Parte Florida Mental Health Institute at USF. Along with several others, in 1986 he helped organize the Hillsborough County School District's Crisis Intervention Team.